Have you thought, ENOUGH? Ever wanted to say, ENOUGH!? Have you SHOUTED, ENOUGH!!? These thoughts, words, cries, shouts, prayers, self-talk conversations and real conversations are the focus for this part article 2 of 3 on ENOUGH. In the first article we talked about how we ARE enough! Rewinding our tapes, extending forgiveness, learning from our past and being grateful. This article will focus on ENOUGH, when we realize what behaviors, situations, practices, habits, thoughts, relationships and more…..have to STOP!!!
First, a caution or actually a WARNING for some of you. In relationships we may come to a crossroad because of another’s actions towards us. If you are experiencing physical, emotional pain or injury at the hands of someone else…..GET HELP! There are crisis hotlines, the police, and other agencies to help you. Here is one resource, National Domestic Violence Hotline – 800-799-SAFE (800-799-7233). Find other resources to help you in your community at a doctor’s office, the library, online, phone books…..please do it, make the call, your life is valuable and you are worth it! Cry from the mountaintops – ENOUGH!
For others, your situation may not be at that critical intersection, however, you have been feeling the need to say ENOUGH to your friend, spouse, sibling, child, family member, co-worker, boss, subordinate, another person or yourself. Say it with me now, ENOUGH! You are the only one who can take charge and stop receiving those behaviors from others or exhibiting those behaviors yourself.
What behaviors you might be asking? Any behavior that is hurting you, conversations that belittle you or cause you to feel “less than”, situations that cause pain to others, behaviors that are not aligned with your values, unhealthy choices, all can stop. While the time we have accepted that behavior, those words, jokes, sarcasm, and actions has been the norm in our past, it does not mean it has to stay that way. ENOUGH! Today is the first day of the rest of your life, so the saying goes.
It’s time to ask yourself a few questions. If I desire to feel worthy does that type of behavior move my thoughts and/or actions towards my desire of feeling worthy or does it move me away from feeling valuable? Does the behavior of that person, myself or those people help guide me toward positive goals and outcomes or not? Is that person’s or my behavior something I want as a part of my legacy? Do I want to pass that behavior, habit, those words, that action along to others in my life?
For some of us, we really don’t know. Our lives have been in this pattern for so long, we don’t have a clue how it could be different. Where do we start? Do you desire to make a change? Your values, beliefs, goals, past, purpose, relationships can be investigated, examined, and reviewed. You can put boundaries in place to put your life in control. You CAN do this, you are worthy – it’s time to scream ENOUGH!!!
If this is something that you would like assistance doing, you can reach out to a counselor, trusted friend, family member or like myself, a Life Coach. Here is the link to the Speak To Me page to connect with me. The power is yours, the desire to change, set boundaries, and improve is yours. If what you feel right now about your situation is a desire to be different, a step is necessary. This is exciting, scary, thrilling yet unsettling. Change is like that. When you take the first step you are empowering yourself to make a difference in your life. Powerful!
For a quick example, going from our first article in this series, I described an ongoing issue with body image. When I realized tapes were playing that tangled me in behaviors that resulted in a large size, poor health, low energy and other issues, I said ENOUGH! I participated in a group that was starting about health issues – changing behaviors to better our health and lose weight. I had tried several previously but this was different! This study group had us look at why we did things, what was our motivation and held us accountable to the behaviors we desired to change. This group I believe, saved my life. It certainly changed my life!! After months of participation, behavioral, emotional, spiritual and physical changes with accountability I was able to shed many pounds, take up new activities, have additional energy and bottom line? I really liked who I was becoming! It’s a process, there have been some setbacks that I have chosen with my own behaviors and other dynamics that happened. I am comfortable with me, I am enough. I continue to look for ways to better my health – in all areas, physical, emotional, spiritually and behavioral. This is a journey and I am excited about the journey.
What would your life look like if you shouted ENOUGH and took steps to either set up new boundaries, remove yourself from a situation or relationship, learned a new behavior and/or moved forward to set goals to become a person with a purpose? How would that affect your day to day life? How do you see that possibility playing out in your life? I am excited for you to take a step, shout ENOUGH and see a different way! If this sounds like a process you would like to embark on, please go to the Speak To Me page and let’s see if we can work together!
As in the previous article here are a few quotes that will encourage you as you shout ENOUGH!
Maintaining healthy friendships is hard to do. People can be fickle, and a small dose of “craziness” can send a friendship spiraling. In spite of our faults—and we all have them—we need each other. We all have our quirks and foibles, and heaven knows we want tolerance. So why not give some of that tolerance to others? This does not mean that you tolerate wrongdoing, hurtful behavior and flagrant boundary violations. But you must show the same patience and kindness you expect in return. Scripture says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). Henry Cloud
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. – Theodore Roosevelt
If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. – Maya Angelou
Those who are at war with others are not at peace with themselves. – William Hazlitt
You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory. – J. Donald Walters
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. – Ephesians 4:32
On the path to wellness and wholeness, there are many gates to close. Closing the gate means not leaving loose ends hanging. Steve Arteburn
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort—the opening terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing—the opening a wonderfully joyous moment. – Andy Rooney
Sometimes you only get one chance to rewrite the qualities of the character you played in a person’s life story. Always take it. Never let the world read the wrong version of you. – Unknown